Rachael Yamagata - Dealbreaker

 

I found that record you'd been looking for yesterday
The one I'd been searching for forever

I played that record all night,
you were right The last song said it all
Even though it skipped a bit, it sounded better


I never, I never, I never knew

The only way to listen to a record like that

Is to play it through

But all of this means nothing
Yeah, all of this means nothing

All of this means nothing

Without you

I packed up the car and started to drive
Without a plan, with no direction
You said it'd be good for me

To break out of my daily routine
You were always trying to teach some lesson

You wanted, you wanted, you wanted me

To feel the open road with the wind on my face
Well, I'm here and I'm finally free

But all of this means nothing
Yeah, all of this means nothing
All of this means nothing

Without you

You and I were partners in crime
Petty thieves in a line up
But somehow we wound up here

I'm looking at a letter that I wrote to you long ago

I wouldn't even know now where to send it

It's funny how it all poured out on paper

If only I had found a way to tell you

If only, if only, if only you
Had found a way to love me for who I am
The way that I loved you

But all of this means nothing

Yeah, all of this means nothing
All of this means nothing
Without, without, without, without, without you

내일부터 또 출장이라 짐 챙기면서 음악 듣는데

이 음악에 귀가 꽂혀서 짐 쌀 마음이 생기질 않는다.

I'm looking at a letter that I wrote to you long ago

I wouldn't even know now where to send it

It's funny how it all poured out on paper

If only I had found a way to tell you

If only, if only, if only you
Had found a way to love me for who I am
The way that I loved you

이 노래를 듣는데-

지난번 출장에 호텔에 두고 온 내 수첩 생각이 난다.

한국에선 도저히 버릴 용기가 나질 않아 

일부러 중국까지 가져간 내 수첩.

기뻤고 꿈을꿨고 사랑했고 아파하다가 원망했던

그 수첩을 이게 다 무슨 소용인가 싶어 두고 왔던 내 마음.

굳이 크게 마음을 쓰지 않겠노라 다짐하면서도

하루에도 열두번씩 아직도 마음이 시리다.

그럴때마다 난 피해자가 아니듯 넌 가해자가 아니다, 라며

널 원망하지 않으려고 열심히 애써봐도

서운한 마음이 가라앉혀지질 않는다.

내가 그렇게 쉽게 잊혀져도-

혹은 이렇게 쉽게 너의 인생에서 사라진다 해도 괜찮을,

그런 정도의 사람이었을까. 내가.

난 아니었는데.

아무튼-

이 예쁜 여자는 목소리도 어쩜 이렇게 이쁘고

기타는 또 왜이렇게 잘 칠까.

집중해서 찡그려지는 얼굴도 너무 멋있다.

암튼 닥치고 얼른 짐 싸고 자야지,

내일부터 정신 바짝 차려야 하는데.